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TAK for muligheden til at blogge på levlykkeligt.dk! Mine blogindlæg vil være udvalgte uddrag fra blog posts - på engelsk - fra min blog wellness-junkie.blogspot.com.

Her kommer det første...

Kh Anne-Grete

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Do you feel good enough? When people-pleasing doesn't work 

I am so excited about my soon-to-be published ebook a SUPERWOMAN's e-guide to INNER WELLNESS, that I can't help revealing parts of it in advance. Here's a sample from the book, about being (feeling!) good enough, a daily challenge for lots of SUPERWOMEN (and men) out there.

Warmly,
Anne

***

If you were a bird, you’d never ask yourself if you were good enough. Your flying would be okay – whether you fly to the right, left, or straight ahead.


No one would say that your flying method was absolutely wrong: Hey you, you can do better than that! Or, if you were a spider, nobody would dare criticize your web for being too finely woven, too small, or too big. Your web would be totally fine!

As a child, you were also completely satisfied with yourself. No matter how much your belly stuck out, you still thought you were great. Then you went to school and learned to fit into the group. You learned what you were allowed to do, and also what you weren't allowed to do – and it was all meant with the best of intentions with the purpose of socializing you to get along with other people.

Now you are an adult – and you have never really learned to step outside of those rigid norms

You learned to say YES and get rewarded in the form of pats on the back and good grades, because that was what was expected of you.

And you learned above all that if you don’t do what you are told, you just aren’t good enough.

The challenge is that, as an adult, you experience loads of situations where you are expected to step outside the box and say no and to not do things to make everyone else happy.
 

When People-pleasing doesn’t work:
• You become the boss and are expected to make unpopular decisions
• You find yourself in an unhealthy relationship and want to break free of it
• You decide to become an entrepreneur and need to think out of the box – and not necessarily do what your competitors do
• You want to get something done and are politely waiting for other people to do what they promised
• You are stressed because you feel that you do not have any other choices beyond the regular norms for how life should be lived
• You are uncomfortable with yourself despite the fact that everyone else thinks you are so nice and hard-working


It will take your inner People Pleaser some time to conquer the need to please. The cost – in the short term – can seem sky-high. You will disappoint people you care about, and they may even become angry when you no longer behave according to their preconceived notions.

But don’t worry, because what if I told you that their anger and disappointment were mainly about themselves? That what makes them act that way is their insecurity and human need for safety, to get you to fit into their world view? And that when they have become used to the new you, their anger, disappointment and insecurity will disappear? Wouldn’t giving up being a People Pleaser then become an attractive option worth considering? 

 

 

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